What Would Bullet Do?

Charles Manson.

Ted Bundy.

John Wayne Gacy.

Bullet.

This little guy may be developing some serious issues. Sure, he's cute and cuddly, but we're getting a little worried. Several mornings since he's been here, we've woken to a gruesome scene like this:

Yes, that's Bullet's frog, lifeless, face down in the water dish. All attempts to revive him were unsuccessful. Sadly, Frederick "the frogman" Hops was not his only victim.

Found in much the same predicament as Mr. Hops, first responders administered C.P.R. and rescue breathing, but Michael Quackson was also declared dead at the scene. Friends and family declined comment.

Formal indictments are yet pending, but this does not look good for little Bullet. Still, an attorney spokesperson stressed his client's innocence, denying all allegations. Investigations are ongoing.